Concert Etiquette
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| Buddy Guy, photo by twin Lauren |
What you are about to endeavor in this article is a short, simple piece about concert etiquette. Little things not only I have picked up on, but in conversations with my peers and other concert attendees have discussed in passing ,or in length, that have left our experience with a forecast as damp and dreary as June 20.
Note that everyone has an ideal concert experience. This article isn’t to tell you how to live, it’s not to make you feel bad about yourself- because as you'll see throughout this piece I am guilty of many of these habits. The list below is more of me ranting, venting, and being, well a bitch, to voice the opinions of those around me. So without further adieu, here are some tips to be polite at concerts and shows.
- Ears open, lips closed
This past April I had the beyond pleasurable experience of seeing Patti Smith at the Orpheum Theatre in Boston, Masschusettes. During her set she recalled her early feelings of singing along or mouthing the words to songs, never being a fan of it until later in her career. It was after this short-lived story hanging in the back of my memory, that she asked the audience at the Orpheum to join her in singing Bob Dylan’s “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright”.
Mouthing the words isn’t harmful. Even singing aloud at certain parts are acceptable. For example, Paul McCartney invites the crowd to sing during “Hey Jude”. Queen wrote “We Will Rock You” for the audience to sing to. However, there’s a line- whether that be a thick or thin line depends on the venue, the concert, and one’s own volume and voice. Do not sing, project those vocal chords to every.single.song. It is not your concert. You are not the headliner. You may have a beautiful voice, but here, right now your voice should be saved for car jams and showers, not for the crowd. They paid to hear the band - but using your voice for car jams and not being shy about vocalizing, maybe a carpool karaoke Uber service is in your future? If your voice is pristine and you happen to run into me at a show, I invite you to approach me and invite me to any show, big or small, you might be having and let me hear you in your full spotlight; not just in Row G.
Performers tend to interact with the audience during their set. Whether this be in the way of storytelling, asking questions, taking requests, or taking a shot at comedy stylings. While doing so most artist ask the audience in attendance to be quiet or settle down. To keep this rule or pet peeve short; It is rude to talk while someone else is talking- whether you were asked to be quiet or not.
If you are talking while a performer is sharing a story or telling a joke, do not turn to those around you and go “what did they say?!” and when you either don’t get a response or don’t hear someone’s explanation don’t continue to say “What?”, “I didn’t hear!”. It happens. It happened throughout the Buddy Guy performance in Hampton. It’s happened several times before. If you do not hear what is being said, please, nod politely, hands in lap, and accept that you missed something you can easily get after the show. Plus, odds are you’re not alone; the person you were talking to didn’t hear it either.
- Electronics in pockets
Hands extending the index and middle finger high in the sky while the other fingers stay close to the palm of the hand signifying peace, sailing proudly above the heads of crowds at concert. Amongst peace signs from Woodstock days, were lighters, “rock on” hand gestures and fist bumps. Today hands are holding onto new ideas. Ones that resemble less of a symbol or message but of a brick, as attendees hands are occupied with cellphones and iPads. Now I’ve been in places where I’ve dropped boxes on my feet crushing my toes, been in a car accident compacting the car and body but nothing shattered me more than the middle-aged lady in front of me during Buddy Guy’s entire set at the Hampton Ballroom Casino, swiping left, right, up and down to an endless game of Candy Crush.
Using electronics while at a show is first of all rude to the performer. Artist mount themselves under hot, blinding lights, sweat dripping out from every pore of their body, vulnerable to the audience at the foot of the stage, while your eyes are distracted by some Willy Wonka-esque matching game. Not only is the light visible to the performer, especially if in a small venue, it is distracting to those around you. Being in the situation as an audience member trying to ignore the light, it is hard to not be annoyed by the illumination and hand motion out of the corner eye- whether this be Candy Crush, a text, email, or picture.
Let’s talk about pictures and videos. Capturing a moment is remarkable, I don’t blame anyone for taking photos at concerts or shows- unless the band or performer ask for no cameras. However, just like singing, there needs to be a limit! Do not hold your phone or camera up for the entire show, not even an entire or majority of a song. We behind you can't see, and once again it is distracting. Do not walk down the aisles filming the show like a mother during her kindergarteners holiday play.
Being a complete hypocrite, I use to hold cameras at concerts. I still would if I wasn’t ashamed of distracting others and if I didn’t start experience shows without a camera in my face. Seeing a show through my own eyes, in toto (not through a lens), heightened my experience. Getting the full fidelity of a show without any senses blocked from an electronic is the only way to watch a show- the only way to capture the moment, undigetally. For example July 2, 2019 I sat dead center at the Rockland Trust Bank Pavillon located on the waterfront of Boston. From the marmalade sunset, fireworks bursting over the water, I was bittersweet about my no photo rule. However, a photo couldn't pay justice to Jackson Browne (the concert I was attending) soul rendering talent, that seemed to have shaved off his scruff and turned back the now greying hair into his youthful brown with each passing song. A photo couldn't capture that, only eyes, ears, crowd and ambiance could. And I'm a photographer.
- Obstruct views
Stand up, sit down, dance! A concert is meant to be enjoyed. Music is meant to move you, express yourself through your body as an audience member. When I’m talking obstruct I’m talking abstract- the abstracted ways we tend to get in the way of those around us. being polite to those around you, feel the mood of the room. If a majority of the crowd are sitting, don’t be the only one standing with a beer in your hand. Couples, I love you and root for love, but sometimes your heads together block the only little bit of vision someone can see through.
Obstructed views is a small little pet peeve more of than a rule. Just be conscious of those around you and how your actions might affect those behind and next to you.
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| Guilty! Lauren and I after just graduating hours before at Ringo Starr and his 2016 All Starr Band. (didn't wear for entire show). |
- Leaving (100% my personal Pet Peeve, not so much with others I've talked to)
Emergencies are different. If an artist says something that offends you, I can understand why you might leave as well. Getting up and leaving during a performance because you simply don’t like it, have better things to do, yada yada… is a poor excuse, an excuse nonetheless. As mentioned previously, artists give their all on stage, some nights aren’t as well as previous or ones that are to come. Leaving during a show, particularly in a small venue where everything can be seen and heard, gives a message that you’re above this.
- Intoxication
My first drink at a concert was a Jamerson at a little bar before attending the warm presence of Darlene Love. My second drink at a concert were two Bulliet bourbons, neat, while seeing Robbie Fulks at Boston’s City Winery (because wines overrated). I saw Eric Clapton at Madison Square Garden October 6, the lady two rows in front of me had one too many cocktails that she wore disgustingly on her shirt and shoes. The man six rows behind us, sitting next to my grandmother also lost his liquor and most people’s appetite, during the opening set. That’s an extreme case at shows. November 15, 2014 I saw Bob Dylan at the Orpheum Theatre, an eye opening, out of body experience that was until the men in front of us had a drinking game going. Betting each other on the set, or comments, becoming bumbling fools, shouting at Dylan throughout the performance and fumbling over themselves. Not to mention spilling your drinks on those around you, either staining their clothing and giving them a free fragrance sample they weren't asking for, like those kiosk ladies at the mall.
Mamie; Pre-Clapton. New York City With everything, moderation. Drinking at shows aren’t a “no-no” on my list, it’s an event that allows others to get loose. My advice, however, is any kind of altering substance shouldn’t be used in an obliterated way before or during an evening of art, culture, experience- especially if you paid for it, or if YOU’RE SOMEONE'S GUEST. What is the attraction to not absorb the moment?It’s also another way to piss off your neighbors and piss yourself.
- Hygeine and Perfume
I understand Body Odor can be a genetic and a health issue, that is not what I’m talking about. If you do not have a medical condition, shower, brush your teeth, wear a clean shirt. I don’t care what you, wear or look like in your basement, but while you’re sitting next to others who paid to enjoy a night out (or just sitting next to others in general), lather up.
Perfume can be just as bad as poor hygiene (maybe it’s because someone is trying to mask their bad hygiene?). The smell can be just as distracting as singing, talking, and ducking to get a stage view. Please be wary of your hygiene and smells, and be aware that some people maybe allergic to your perfume, which would lead to a (Lindsey approved) leaving early.
- Wrappers
IF YOU WANT A MINT OR A CARMEL OPEN THE WRAPPERS BEFORE THE SHOW. WERTHERS ORIGINALS ARE NOT AN INSTRUMENT… yet, you Avant- Garde do-makers.
I’d be insane to think that this little list of complaints and personal aggravations will change the way concert and show experiences will go moving forward. I just hope that it resonates with others in feeling the same way that they are not alone in being cheated out by presentless people and for others to be a bit more cognitive about their actions in public. We are all there to enjoy the show, don’t be the one to ruin it for somebody else.
Thank You. I sincerely want to thank those who helped me create the list, threw out suggestions, as well as those who have kept their eyes wandering this long to finish this poorly transcribed, grammatically tortured article. God Speed and God Willing.
-L
Thank You. I sincerely want to thank those who helped me create the list, threw out suggestions, as well as those who have kept their eyes wandering this long to finish this poorly transcribed, grammatically tortured article. God Speed and God Willing.
-L
